Yup.

Out of nowhere, bad mood. Ask anyone. I go to this meeting. The meeting has nothing to do with the lack of piano in the young women's room. The piano is not on the agenda. Nor does anyone give a crap about the piano. But I go off about the lack of piano in the young women's room and how embarrassing it is to have guests for baptisms when there is a crap, rinky-dink synthesizer in the room. If you think a synthesizer is as good as a real piano, we cannot be friends. Just ask the Bishop.

Then this week, I wake up pissed. I am pissed all day. Can't locate the source. At lunch I'm eating my 20th leftover bowl of vegan soup because everyone hated it on my birthday, and I realize the source of my piss. Those make-up tutorials! That's what did it!

I have become insane.

I watched over 25 of these videos. Yup. I did. And I'll say this--I love Michelle Money. She was my friend when we lived in Sugar House and also did our whole families hair. One day, she showed me how to fill in my eyebrows properly and I couldn't believe the difference it made! Couldn't believe that I was almost 30 and no one had told me to FILL IN MY EYEBROWS! I've filled them in everyday since and hear Michelle's voice, "It gives your face such a beautiful frame." So imagine my delight when I found a entire YouTube channel where Michelle and her friend Lara give make-up tips! Hooray.

And I did this trick.

So it is late into the night and I keep watching these video clips--and I'm starting to forget the tips, so I get out a spread sheet so I can track the products they suggest. Here is what I came up with...

Nars Pop Life Velvet Matte Lip Pencil

Kevin Aquin Relentless Matte Lip Color

Bobbi Brown Naked eye shadow

Mary Kay Mascara Lash Love

HD Makeup Forever Foundation

Jane Iradel Pressed Powder

Bare Minerals Pale Pink 

All those items are FORTY DOLLARS! Plus, these hot mamas pay to get spray tanned, have eyeliner tattoos, eyebrow tattoos, extensions, skin treatment this, nail treatment that. And I'm soaking this in. Eating it up. None of my "go natural", "love your body", "don't give into the man" triggers into my mind. I'm just watching these videos thinking how I just wanna look hot like Michelle Money and spend thousands of dollars doing it. 

But the depths of my Erica conscience took a look and said "RESIST!" Does this mean I'm going to ignore all the tips--no, I'm still going to get the lip color for forty freaking dollars each and do some of the pricer things. Don't judge. It's my birthday money. And don't worry, however dumb you think I am, I think I'm dumber. 

And then I go to a high school performance, which I have taken to calling "Herriman's Not Got Talent." Here's why. It took over three hours long and I wanted to shoot myself by the end of it. The best part was Max and Jacob Wimmer who were called "The Brothers Wimm." They won! Because they did the best job! There were great performances by Jane, and Orion, and all those other kids until hour 2 + started and then they all sounded like pure and total s---- because that's how amatuer talent is after so long.  I wanted to rip my hair out one by one until I'm bald and then I'd wear a wig and kind of sort of have hair extensions like Michelle Money.

Guess what? I'm starting to be successful at work. You know why? 'Cause I'm smart, professional, level headed, not prone to drama. True story.