a little testimony...

I know that God loves me. Not the pathetic sort of love that is all bound up in deserving it and right and wrong, but the delightful sort where someone loves your company, is curious as to how things are with you, quickly overlooks you faults, and wants to give you every good thing. This knowledge lives in me. That I am loved infinitely. Spectacularly. Delightfully. I am a darling of God.

Sometimes my mind takes me to dumb places and I replace them quickly with love.

Here's the thing I know about the atonement. It means that I don't have to sit around thinking about what a crappy person I am because my kids all need therapy, I can't stop eating sweets, my floor hasn't been clean in 5 years, I read US Magazine regularly, spend too much money, and my basement looks a little like my own personal D.I. but dirtier. I don't think those things for much time at all. I try to do a little better, but usually when I resolve to be better, I come down with a bad head cold and all of the above things just get worse anyway. I am perfect, I remember. I am walking perfection. Not in spite, not in jest. Every little thing is fine. Every sadness okay. Every downfall wonderful. Cheer up. Be glad. Smile. Laugh.

I am a mormon, which is to say that every Sunday I go to church. Sometimes there is a lesson that penetrates my soul. Sometimes some brilliant thing is said and I learn something. Mostly I sit there and feel that God loves me. Three hours of love pours into me. I read the book of mormon. I attend the temple. These things do nothing but strengthen this feeling and gives me the bits of knowledge I need to raise my children.

I am happy and cheerful. I laugh and smile. The source of my cheerfulness is my faith that God is real and loves me and there is no need for dread or fear or self-loathing.

The Primary theme this year is "I am a Child of God." I will spend the year whispering to the children at my church these words--God is real. He loves you.

And because they are children, they will believe. And when they are grown, they will still believe, and remember how they sang songs about God and through those songs knew His love.