Anne and I are used to being asked, Are you sisters? We were once really kind about this question. No, I would say, I am actually her mom. And if the person seemed nice enough, and didn’t have prude written all over them I might have even divulged more information about why we look like sisters.
But these conversations never went well. Said person would shift into the standard phrases; You beat the odds! You made it! It must be so fun to have a young mom! Leaving both Anne and I uncomfortable because let’s face it, it’s really not that fun having a young mom…and we don’t feel like our lives deserve a medal for beating the odds…or a stamp that says we made it.
Since Anne has gotten older and taller--3 inches taller than her little mummy. These statements come much more frequently and with more hysteria attached. We’ve stopped being so nice. Instead we stare back at the person like we have no idea what they are talking about. They get really uncomfortable and then swiftly get back to taking blood or checking groceries.
Because honestly what am I supposed to say to the stranger at the cheese counter? “Yeah, one day when I was fifteen I was kissing this long-haired hotty and even though we bonked teeth at least eight times it was the best kiss I’d ever had (insert assumption here…kissed a lot before fifteen) and pretty soon we were Levi-loving and well, it all went south from there if you catch my drift. By sixteen, sperm met egg, if you know what I mean…
On Monday, Anne and I were at Costco and the checker asked if we were paying together or with separate checks. Like we are roommates heading to Costco rather than a mother and her daughter. On Tuesday we were at the DMV and this one I have not heard before. Are you the step mom? Apparently I don’t look like her mother, but I do look like just the sort of hussy that would marry an older man for money and raise his kids.
Friends tell me to take it as a compliment, you look great! (Avoiding the question at hand I once told a checker that I look so young because I have regular botox injections.) But for me, being Anne's mom is far better than looking great. And I can't seem to let people think I’m the sister. I am Anne’s mother. Mother, Daughter. And to all the strangers out there, that’s all you need to know.
12 comments:
I get so tired of random people giving advice or asking personal information. A sample lady at Costco once asked me if this was my only kid and why I had not had more. He was probably 3 at the time. Gasp, I was not ready to multiply and replenish again. Um. I just stared at her. I came for hot dogs, not to talk about my sex life, MAJOR problems with labor, and the problems I continually have from it. So I wonder if they really want to hear what is going on or are just plain dumb.
I bet that is really annoying. Why can't people just mind their own business? I hate it when the checkers get all chatty! I frequently get comments about Aubrey..."She's awfully big to be riding in a stroller, isn't she?" "She's pretty quiet, isn't she?" You know, I came to the store to get eggs and milk, not to explain Aubrey's challenges.
Anyway...I'm sure you are proud to be Anne's mom. You earned that title!
I think of you every time I get the same questions. Out here I am the young mom and get asked about it ALL THE TIME. (I have to admit, I kind of like it especially as I am approaching 40).
Each and every time I think that I cannot imagine what comments Erica would get out here.
At least they don't ask if your husband is your father. I'd rather have the sisters comment. Ha! I must be the hussy! (I was often mistaken for my stepson's girlfriend.)
I have long since given up. If people want to act like asses and intrude on my business, they don't deserve a real answer. Entertain yourself and use your creative writing skills. When asked how me and my husband met, I've been known to say "He pulled up to the playground and said "want some candy little girl?". If you really want to stop it, simply turn it back on them. "Why do you ask?" "How many do you have?" "How old were you when you had sex?"
Life is too short for me to worry about or be embarrassed because of people who "don't get" me. (and, yes, there are many. I won't even start on the "what'd ya do to yer arm?" comments).
hooray!!!!! loving your blog!!! i've only read this post but i can't effing wait to read more!!!! i'm beside myself in happiness right now.
i love love love love you. your daughter is lucky lucky to have mom who thinks its WAY better to be the mom than the sister. that is kind of gorgeous. as usual with you.
Today, Dad and I were at the Bank of America. The employee thought that we were together... As in A COUPLE. As in MARRIED.
Remember the time when that lady thought I was YOUR OLDER sister?
Sniff. Such a hard life. :)
I love your writing: "Apparently I don’t look like her mother, but I do look like just the sort of hussy that would marry an older man for money and raise his kids" hahahah. It reminds me of something I'd hear on This American Life.
Ha ha ha.... I love reading your blog! You are so funny! People never mind their own business in this world!
Thank you for making me laugh out loud TWICE while sitting in a hotel room, waiting to get to the beach, but having to wait for Dan to get ready... :)
Thank you for writing this. Brittyn & I get that all the time. She is also a few inches taller than me, and honestly does look much older than 15. Most times the comment I get is "You don't look old enough to be her mom." My response is "Well, obviously I am." It really is none of their business how old I am, or how old I was when I had her, or even the time difference between wedding and birth. But yes, depending on our moods and who we're talking with, sometimes we'll play along. Or I'll call her mom. I've even been asked if Nolan is the step Dad. Last year Nolan & Britt went to a concert together. She passed as being over 18, and everyone who was standing in line around them were convinced that they were a couple, and they were being absolutely sarcastic about her being only 14. Too funny.
HA! People STILL think my mom is my sister or my brother's wife (My poor dad). Um, she's like 65! Take it as a compliment. You look amazing! You could be frumpy and no one would bother commenting.
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