Upon the woman who worked at Hooters in my feminism class.

The problem with me and embarrassing moments is this: I have many that would qualify if I were the sort to be embarrassed easily, which I'm not, so I don't have embarrassing moments. I typically tell stories that other people would think is embarrassing in those lets-get-to know-each-other-by-telling-the-worst-moments-of-our-lives-sessions.

Here are some of my non-embarrassing-embarrassing-moments.

1. I went to get ice cream after putting a big blob of toothpaste on my face to heal a zit. True, I forgot I had put the toothpaste on my face, and the teen boy did look at me funny, but why get embarrassed over what the teenager at Astro Burger?

2. I had my period all over my mother-in-law's white chair. Big deal. Bleach pens exist.

3. I crapped when I delivered my babies. (And you didn't? I once watched a birth where my friend totally crapped and later heard her tell people she had never crapped during a delivery. I think you just don't notice and the nurses are kind enough not to tell you. Mine though, happened to be all over my brand new baby so I noticed.)

4. I farted in 7th grade during English class and they called me Crusty the Snowman for the rest of the year. Okay, I was embarrassed a little. But once again, you don't fart?

5. I was changing my shirt in the car at City Creek Canyon when Senator Orin Hatch walked by . . .

So I woke up with a story in my head, one where I thought, "Now this one is truly embarrassing!"

Eleven years ago I was in a women's studies literature class. We read all the great feminists in all their glory, basically having ourselves one long-drawn-out-wonderful-Bryn-Mawr-festival. In one of our discussions the woman sitting behind me admitted that she worked at Hooters and I TURNED AROUND AND LOOKED STRAIGHT AT HER BOOBS! And she saw.

Actually, I'm not even embarrassed about that. I mean, she is the one who worked at Hooters and told her feminism class about it. Besides, if you work at Hooters you probably like people looking at your boobs and are proud of them.

So there it goes. My most non-embarrassing moments.

I have these sort of moments very often, so if you need a laugh at my expense, text me. I'm more than happy to share.