Voice

So. On the bright side. I switched my blog all up in hopes of finding a little blogger motivation. The downside is, I'm having a hard time getting my voice back. It seems it is easier for me to rattle off when everything is wonderful (or when pretending that everything is wonderful) than when I'm feeling dumpy. Motherhood is not coming easily for me these days. I can't get a handle on the housework. I'm drifting too often onto internet-land. And every day I feel this nagging you are so much better than this. But the strength that I felt in my 20s to re-vamp and conquer my world isn't there. (Did you know that I once bought a house without telling my husband because it is what the family needed and he was moving way too slow?) This time around the revamping needs to come in the form of kindlier tones, more time together, spirituality and affection all around. I'm telling you, it is a lot easier to build a house than to train children to speak nicely to each other. Especially when teenagers are involved. Every day I wave my flag of defeat in the form of a very long nap.