Okay. I admit it. I waited to write this post until I was dressed and showered and makeup-ed so that I wouldn't look stupid in my photobooth shot. Now I've defeated the whole point of this picture-thing, which was to show myself all throughout the day, sloppy and all, and thereby comfortable in my own skin and comfortable to let you see me being comfortable in my own skin.
This picture thing is in part, a reaction against botox, liposuction, face-lifts, breast augmentation surgery, the need need need for facials and pedicures and injections. I wanted to show you how I have acne scars along my whole jaw line, how I have a deep wrinkle between my eyes, how my neck is beginning to look layered. And I hoped that we could still see beauty. That hope failed, because I will not show you my face until it is covered in bare minerals.
I am not immune to the images and ads I constantly see. But even still I am willing to struggle this out. I will not be signing up for the many body altering procedures out there. Doesn't it feel wrong? That women would willingly be knifed, injected, covered in acid and poisoned all for a perfect body, for perfect skin? I am especially worried that mormon women sign up for these procedures like a swarm of bees. Whatever happened to "bodies are a temple"?
Last night Anne was measured for a poodle skirt. Her waist measured 25 inches and she still feels that she has an unsightly pouch. She knows she is being bombed with images, she wrote a paper on it, but she still thinks a fake-digital image is the true measure of a beautiful body.
Women will tell me that they have these procedures because it makes them feel better about themselves. This infuriates me.
"To add insult to injury, the rhetoric of feminism has been adopted to help advance and justify the industries in anti-aging and body alteration. Face-lifts, implants, and liposuction are advertised as empowerment, "taking-charge" of one's life. "I'm doing it for me" goes the mantra of the talk shows. "Defy your age!" says Melanie Griffith, for Revlon. We're making a revolution, girls. Step right up and get your injections."
--Susan Bordo "The Empire of Images in Our World of Bodies"
It all feels wrong.
15 comments:
It's a tricky subject isn't it?
Is it empowering to look your best, or are you succumbing to societies pressure of what "best" is? Does that boob job make you feel better because you are happier with the way you look? Or because society has made that the look you want?
I want a boob reduction. I tell myself it is so I can finally not have to wear 2-3 jog bras when I run and so I can finally wear shirts that button. But I always question if it is actually because I want to look skinnier.
I want to be more comfortable in my own skin. I want my kids to be comfortable in theirs. Is it possible in this crazy world?
Could I go on? Oh my yes...
Definitely a sensitive subject. Why has loving ourselves become so hard? I like to think that I love myself, but I talk hatefully to myself some days just as much as the next woman out there. It might just be impossible to be truly comfortable just the way we are in this media infiltrated society.
I definitely think there is a culture of perfectionism among Mormons in Utah that I don't think is as severe (among Mormons) in other parts of the country.
I guess the best we can do is our best. Do our best to love ourselves, avoid the harmful media, and do our best to remind our daughters how beautiful and special they are. I think you do a great job.
PS-I have seen you sans make up, hair done, etc. and I have always thought you are beautiful.
Thank you for this post, Erica. I needed it. It occurred to me recently that no matter how beautiful we may think a person is...they probably aren't satisfied with themselves either. Men are not immune to this either. The other day Matt asked me to get him some anti-wrinkle cream...and he wasn't joking. A 26 year-old gorgeous man! It's sad, isn't it?
Anyway, I like your pictures...makeup or no makeup. You are a very beautiful person.
thank you for this post. it infuriates me too. we should feel good about ourselves because we gorgeous by the fact that we even have a body. not because we have a certain bra-size (so that we are attractive to men...).
Hi,Erica. I don't know how ladies feel about this issue but honestly, I don't care their looking. I can't judge people by their appearance.
You are beautiful without make up. Actually, when I see you, you are usually without make up. And you have a great personality. I think that people should try to have a beautiful heart instead of trying to be a beautiful looking.(I hope you can understand my English.)
I love Bare Minerals... and I will admit that I hate my saggy boobs and can't wait to get them "fixed."
I think you're great. I am striving to get the self-confidence back that I think I once had. Maybe after all is said and done, I will be happy with my "sleeping bag boobs." I have always thought sleeping bags were sexy...
*My word verification word is 'fistyma.' That's funny.
I like the label for this post. I think some of the most important things are said when we talk about what we didn't intend to in the first place. Thanks for this lovely post.
Aren't you glad your not in the Stratford Ward anymore? Sorry for the confusion on the Moon blog. For the record, we too loved Slumdog Millionaire! I made Chris take down the botox post cause I knew it was going out there a little too far and would hit a nerve. I'm with you on all of it, my wrinkles and growing imperfections are part of life. I just want to be the best I can be and age gracefully...
Even temples get shut down for a good re-model now and then!
When I was thirty-something, I too thought all that tightening was ridiculous. Now that I'm 66, I feel much kindlier toward all of it.
You look beautiful made up and unmade up. That's the pleasure of thirty something.
Chantel cracks me up.
Yep, Chantel's comment made me giggle, which made both my boys look at me like I am a bit crazy. That's true, though.
Erica, either I was very naive or unaware before moving here to Daybreak, or the self-adjustments are much more prevalent. Maybe my former neighborhood, and soon to be current one, just houses more confident women, those who just are unable to afford it, or those who just really don't care... You use to live there. What do you think?
I think we live in a very judgemental world. I admit I had my boobs done. It's the best thing I've ever done. I now feel like a woman. After having my boys an A cup was too big for me. Everytime I moved my arms my bra would ride up. I was constantly adjusting it. I got to the point that that is all I was thinking about. Thank goodness for plastic surgery. Now I LOVE putting my exercise clothes on and especially a swimsuit. I now fill it out instead of looking like I did when I was 11 years old.
I see your point though. I just think who are we to judge others? If it's not for you that's fine. Don't think less of someone for making the choice to have something fixed.
Oh Ann Marie. I'm so sorry.
Every time I see an un-retouched picture of a model I wish that every girl and woman could see that. Christy Turlington had mosquito bites all over when I was on a shoot with her, and some thigh dimpling...it's true.
Models have unshaven armpits, zits, scars, rashes, all of the real stuff, but only a small number ever see those pictures unfortunately.
Erica it takes a lot for my feelings to get hurt. We all have our own opinions. :)
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